Self Love and Real Happiness

“You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha

There was once a girl, innocent and true by heart. She always kept dreaming about that one guy who will make her feel complete, and who would love her to death. One day she met somebody. That ‘someone’ made great promises and loved her as much as was possible. She was thrilled as all her dreams came true. She poured everything into the relationship. But her happiness was short-lived. Soon everything changed. That, someone, had left. As much as she wanted she could not stop him. This incident left her heartbroken. She felt desperate, needy, wanted somebody to lend her their shoulders to cry on but unfortunately, by then, she lost her tendency to trust. It felt like she was liked in a dark room forever, from where there was no exit. This is the story of a soft, loving heart transforming into a piece of rock.

The majority of us would relate to the girl in some way. Most of us have gone through this bitter phase of life, where we lose somebody dear to us. Not always is the other person wrong. Sometimes, it’s merely the cruelty of the situation that separates us. The pain becomes unbearable.

But why?

This was mainly because throughout our life we expected somebody else to fulfill our craving of love. In return, we did the same for them. We forgot that we should be our topmost priority and responsibility. Instead of expecting somebody’s approval and wait for somebody else to make us feel better and beautiful, we should do it for ourselves. When such devotion is shown towards self, it leads to what is known as ‘self-love’.

Self Love v/s Obsession

Many people confuse self-obsession with self-love. Self-obsession is feeling that you are ‘the best’. With this feeling, you tend to ignore all your flaws and focus only on good traits. This stops one from growing. On the contrary ‘Self-love’ is accepting oneself with all the flaws and working on them. It always leads to the path of growth.

Self Love and True Happiness

Love is always known to make one feel happy. But as long as we are dependent on somebody else to fulfill our requirements, we also have a sense of fear- fear of losing them. Happiness generated by such love makes us feel weak at times and it may or may not be long-lasting. On the other hand, in the case of self-love, there is no fear of losing. The very source of love lies within us. This everlasting sense of happiness becomes our biggest strength.

The girl in the story finally understood the true meaning of self-love. She found that ‘someone’ was always within her. It was she. If you too ever crave for ‘someone’ to love you and understand you, go and stand in front of a mirror. You will find your ‘someone’ too.

Published by Sruti Shivakumar

An architect from India on a journey of self exploration

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