“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply” – (Business2community)
My grandmother always used to say that whatever God does, has a proper reason and message associated with it, and, he gave human beings two ears and only one mouth.
Do you know why?
You are right!
He wanted to send us a message that listening is more important than speaking. This is something most of us already know. But our quest for truth should not stop here. What did God really mean? Is it just letting the other person speak first?
In my opinion, the quote mentioned above describes his intentions very clearly. Most of us form a point of view at a very initial stage. This closes our minds to other possibilities and perceptions. Even when we listen we filter out all the stuff we want to hear and discard anything which does not fit our perception.
By ‘listening’, God meant opening our mind towards other people’s perceptions. Understanding the opposite perspective strengthens our stand on the concerned subject and also clears any pre-existing misconceptions from our minds. The conversation that we have then is called a ‘ discussion’, which generates a fruitful conclusion. Most of the time, we can see people thinking about appropriate replies while listening to others. Their primary focus is on winning and proving the other person wrong. The conversation that takes place then is merely an argument about who takes over whom. This will not generate any fruitful results.
Unconsciously, we also might be doing the same. Next time be careful, is your conversation with another person a discussion, or an argument.
Let me know your views on this.