To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you”- Lewis B. Smedes

Feelings of anger and grudge are not new to us. We interact with so many people on a day to day basis and accordingly build up many expectations based on our interactions and the nature of the interactions we have.

But are these expectations always fulfilled?


No matter what the expectation is or who is really at fault, one thing is for sure, we suffer. Be it anger, or grudge, it occupies our mind and fills our inner self with negativity. It does more harm to us than other people. How is it fair? The quote by Lewes B. Smedes explains this beautifully. Forgiveness, in reality, is setting ourselves free from the torture of anger and grudge.

I understand the above quote does lead to many other questions and misconceptions. If a wrongdoer is always forgiven by other people, he will be motivated and will not learn his lesson. That is not correct.

Mostly, when a person is guided by the feelings of anger and grudge, his perception revolves around his selfish motives and ego, that the truth. As soon as his ego is satisfied, he stops and moves on. The fight for truth and righteousness needs to be free from any preconceived or selfish opinion. The choice of right and truth should be guided by a rational mind and conscience. To achieve this state of mind, it is highly crucial to forgive the other person first. Take a stand against the wrong. A wrongdoer is just a messed up person who has lost control of himself and his track. This attitude helps one stay unbiased, understand the situation better, and make a fair choice.

Remember, our real enemy is the wrongs in society and not the wrongdoers. 

Let me know your views on this.

Published by Sruti Shivakumar

An architect from India on a journey of self exploration

4 thoughts on “Forgiveness

  1. Well said. Powerful opening quote. It’s true, to be angry at someone, we have to feel the pain from within us so it’s us who’ll hurt more not the other person we are angry at. Forgiving is letting go of our hurt.

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  2. Sruti, very wise post! I like the last lines where you say that our real enemy is the evils of society and not the wrongdoer. Wrongdoers usually have sad histories. A disproportionate percentage of the people in prison can’t read or are mentally ill. When someone does something against others, he is generally acting out of his own inadequacy and pain. All the best! Cheryl

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