Stop being embarrassed about the past

‘Oh my God! What was I thinking when I did that? How can I be so stupid? I am never going to that place again’ 

How many times did you have this talk with yourself?

Gather some courage and recollect the last time you felt it. Now, before you let the embarrassment overpower you, put yourself in the place of the audience and one of your friends at your place. Now replay the same incident in your head.

How did you perceive the above situation as a third person with places interchanged?

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Was it really that embarrassing what you were thinking as a first-person?
  2. Even if it was, as a third person, how long would you have remembered it?

You will soon realize that our mind has a tendency to exaggerate every mistake we make and portray it as an embarrassment in our head. Though it is just to prevent us from making similar mistakes in life, often this feeling of embarrassment stops us from taking any further risk in life. Having once tasted the feeling of embarrassment, we make every possible effort to avoid the situations that make us look stupid.

But guess what, at this point, you are standing on a junction where one way would lead you to your goals and the life of your dreams and the other leads you to a stagnant life where you will feel like you have slowed down and everybody is overtaking you. The consequence of playing safe is a stagnant life. Whether you like it or not, to achieve anything in life, you will have to walk through the path of thorns.

Causes of embarrassment and how can I cope up with the feeling of embarrassment?

Embarrassment is mainly rooted in the desire to be liked and appreciated by everybody, to be an idol of perfection. It is rooted in the unrealistic expectations that we have from ourselves. When we make mistakes, the above said desires get hurt and this is what makes us feel embarrassed. 

Now think about it, in order to achieve something bigger, something that you don’t have, you obviously will have to improvise yourself. The areas of life that require improvement can only be identified when you make a mistake. More mistakes you make, the more areas of life you identify and the more you grow.

This is a very personal process and has nothing to do with anybody else. It is equally true that everybody has one such process. You will just be a smart person who tapped the benefits of this process before those who are judging you.

Now you have to decide. Do you just want to portray a perfect life and personality in front of other people, or, really want to be one?

Let me know your views on this.

Published by Sruti Shivakumar

An architect from India on a journey of self exploration

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