Victim Thinking

Remember when you were late to the office, or you were scolded for making a mistake in your work, or anything else of a similar kind?

What was your instant reaction?

Did your inner voice tell you how it was not your mistake as there was too much traffic on road today or too many distractions in the office? Did it tell you how you were helpless because of the above-stated reasons and that it was normal to make mistakes?

If it did then you too are under an influence of a parasite known as victim thinking. When you read the word ‘victim’, observe the kind of image your mind forms. You imagine an innocent-looking person, helpless and maybe weak too, and has been through a lot of atrocities. You imagine a figure who is pleading for help and justice from society.

You do feel sorry for such a person, but, do you want to be perceived like one?

I surely would not! I want people to admire me and not feel sorry for me.

Unfortunately, this is how almost 50% of people would react when they come across any complaint or criticism. They start playing blame games by trying to shift the blame on the other person or circumstances. They refrain from taking any responsibility and address the issue to protect their so-called public image.

When we come across a complaint or criticism, it draws our attention to our weak links. For example, in the above cases, traffic is not predictable, so… we should have started early and planned our journey keeping that in mind. Similarly, if there are many distractions in your workplace, then you figure out a way to increase your focus, but get the work done. The moment our attention is drawn to weak links, our focus should be to address those weak links. The more you will grow, the more will be the success that you will attract. Let that success defend or better, recreate your public image.

When you try to defend your public image by playing the victim card to hide your weak links, what you put at stake is your real success and growth.

Is it worth it?

Published by Sruti Shivakumar

An architect from India on a journey of self exploration

3 thoughts on “Victim Thinking

  1. So much truth. Our society conditions us to fall into a victim mentality and it slows growth. Over time, when we are hurt we become wounded and carry the pain with us, but instead, we should let go of the pain, and learn from the experiences as you’ve wonderfully expressed with the traffic example.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are right, This mindset is developed as a response to the conditioning of the society that tells us that we always need to be right. It took me so much time to realize that it is important to let go pain and not necessary to hide it. Glad you liked it

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly. I’m happy for you that you were able to let go of the pain. It’s usually a dear lesson in life, one that we all go through. Welcome

        Liked by 1 person

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