“I have a task to finish, I better get started on that”
“But wait! I still have a week to go until the deadline. Let me play a game on my phone and check my Instagram”
“It’s already 1 am, and I am so tired. Moreover, the doctors say you should get proper sleep”
“I will get started on my task tomorrow. I will not waste any time”
And just like that starts a never-ending pattern of procrastination. I am sure, all of you would relate to the above conversation with yourself. Maybe today!
What is procrastination?
The habit of postponing important tasks for the sake of leisure or distractions is called procrastination. Now, one thing is for sure, we all know that we are doing it but somehow choose to be ignorant about it. In fact, even before writing this post about procrastinating, I procrastinated for 1 week.
Sometimes tasks pile up, everything becomes so overwhelming that you don’t see how you would be able to accomplish it. Assuming that this state would last forever, we don’t even give that a start. We are so scared to lose or come across a dead-end that we start using procrastination as a shield to avoid uncomfortable circumstances and we are not even aware of it.
This week is going to be about procrastination. Each day I will post one blog based on my research on the topic of procrastination that will include – why do we procrastinate? how to overcome it? relation between self-worth and procrastination etc.
Although there is no prescribed therapy for imposter syndrome, a little talking and counseling are always helpful.
Here are a few ways in my opinion that can make you feel better:
The foremost step in dealing with your insecurities is recognizing them. Knowing and understanding why you feel what you feel about certain areas of your life.
Share your feelings. Talk about your feelings to people whom you trust. Getting a fresh perspective and knowing what qualities of you people admire may make you feel better.
Let go of perfectionism. Life is all about growing every day step by step. Perfectionism can only be aimed and never be achieved. The day you feel you are perfect is the day when you become stagnant. Commitment to growth is real perfection.
Track your success. Keep a track of your small achievements. Even though they are just milestones, they are your achievements and need to be appreciated.
Differentiate between being modest and being scared. Most of the time we confuse between modesty and fear and spend our whole lives being ignorant of our feelings. The moment we realize that we are scared of appreciation, we can evaluate whether it is based on fact or not. If it is merely a fear, it is easy to let go of it.
As I said earlier, the very first step towards improvement is recognizing and accepting the problem. It is ok to have problems and but it is not ok to be ignorant of them. If you feel that you are dealing with this, or, know somebody else who is dealing with this, share this and help them. It is important to spread awareness and make people realize the beauty of being different.
If you have any other suggestions, do let me know.
Imagine… what it would be like if one day you wake up and see yourself in the body of someone else, maybe your spouse, or, best friend.
How would you feel?
You might have a lot of exciting things to do at first but eventually, you will get exhausted. You will be tired of pretending.
It’s ok to imagine, but it would be very hard if that happens. Yet many people live this nightmare. They wake up every morning to live a life that doesn’t feel their own. They feel they don’t deserve any appreciation. This feeling that people are giving more importance, appreciation, or value to us than we deserve is called imposter syndrome. In this state of mind, even the appreciation from other people does not help them, instead, it puts extra pressure on them to pretend to be perfect. They always fear that someday someone will catch them and they will be tagged as a fraud. These people work hard and also acquire skills, but this feeling of being an imposter takes away all the credit and fills them with even more fear. Such people feel conscious when somebody appreciates them, or when they are in limelight.
Do you know anybody like this?
Why does that happen?
Imposter syndrome is rooted in a person’s inferiority complex. Often we build an image of perfection in our head based on social media or what others tell us. When we see that our reality does not conform to those standards, we feel different. This feeling aggravates our inferiority complex and makes us feel unworthy of success and appreciation. So when our hard work and skills earn us any achievement, we start doubting it which makes us feel like a fraud.
You may know somebody who feels this way. Just know… it’s normal. You are not alone. Every other person feels it, only they don’t show it. Keep working on yourself and address your deeper insecurities. You deserve every success in life, just go out there and claim it.
Have you ever seen somebody trying to exhibit confidence on purpose to put others down?
If you have then you would know that these people live in a bubble assuming themselves to be superior to other people. It is not their confidence because it is not rooted in one’s growth and struggle. It is very toxic.
Do you know why?
Because their sense of superiority, many times originate from their inferiority complex. Isn’t it contradicting?
But it is true.
When a person is struggling with an inferiority complex, he tries to overcompensate it by portraying himself to be superior. Although the inferiority complex is only in a person’s head, trying to overcompensate it does not help either, instead, it aggravates the problem.
When a person tries to shield their inferiority complex by exhibiting their superiority, they don’t address the problem. They keep it safe inside themselves and close all doors to any opportunity for improvement. Even though they act superior, they still feel inferior. Their entire life becomes a struggle.
Here are some symptoms of superiority complex:
The high valuation of self-worth
Boastful claims which are not backed up by the reality
It is very easy to judge somebody else but when it comes to ourselves, making a judgment becomes the hardest thing. More importantly, acknowledging and accepting one’s insecurities is the hardest of all.
Here are 7 questions that will help you in making the judgment easier:
Question 1- How do you see fear and what do you do about it?
Question 2- How do your thoughts and feelings about your look impact what you do?
Question 3- How much of your confidence comes from inside than outside?
Question 4- If how hard you work was the only criteria of your success, would you bet on yourself?
Question 5- Do the people you surround yourself with help you be more confident?
Question 6- Do you enforce your non-negotiable?
Question 7- How are your past experiences impacting your present?
Write an answer for all these questions in your writing pad and be genuine. It’s ok. If you don’t like your answers, start addressing them one by one. The day you release yourself from the trap of inferiority complex, you will realize that confidence was your very nature and success, your destiny.