Signs that you are dealing with inferiority complex

With observation and experience, I have learned one thing, the way a person talks and behaves is more about their perspective and internal conflicts and has very little to do with you.

Often we come across people whom we perceive to be rude, overconfident, insensitive, and narcissistic. Most of the time, their attitude is a cover-up and compensation for their inferiority complex. Even we exhibit some behaviors when something or somebody pokes our nerve of inferiority complex. It is good to know and understand these patterns of behavior so that we can address the root cause.

Signs that you are dealing with inferiority complex:

  1. You feel low about yourself which results in low self-esteem
  2. You easily give up on your dreams and goals
  3. You feel the need to withdraw in social situations
  4. You frequently experience anxiety and depression
  5. You tend to avoid attention and don’t take compliments and criticism well
  6. You constantly find fault in people around you and circumstances and do not take full responsibility for your life
  7. You tend to set unrealistic goals and seek perfectionism
  8. You find it difficult to admit a mistake and easily get offended

Post introspection, if you somehow find yourself exhibiting any of the above behavior, or, dealing with an inferiority complex, remember, it’s all in your mind. It is not your fault. But it is definitely in your hands to change the course of life. It’s all a matter of one question

Are you willing to change?

Inferiority Complex

Ever since childhood, I was chubby. Although it looked cute when I was a kid, when I entered my teenage years, I started perceiving that trait as a flaw in me. To add to that no friend of mine ever missed a chance to point that to me.

I tried… I tried hard not to care. I pretended and eventually believed that it did not bother me. But it was only on the surface. Deep inside, I did care. I started hating my body for the way it was. That was it, I developed a negative self-image.
But one day… things changed.

I met a guy who became a very good friend of mine. I started having a crush on him, but, my secret hatred for my own body always held me back. It made me feel unworthy and I never confessed. I started suffocating within my own body.
That was my inferiority complex.

I did eventually move on, but this time I was determined to do something about my body image. I knew I was physically fit and was more active than many lean people. I realized that health was my priority and started working towards that, and also stopped comparing myself with the beauty standards of society and social media. Now, I truly understand and believe that I have nothing to be ashamed of. I started appreciating myself more.

Shifting my focus from a race of being the best to growing and improving myself step by step worked like magic. I became more accepting and felt happier. The journey itself was very fulfilling.

Inferiority complex was not my problem alone. So many people feel the same way I felt. It may or may not be related to their body. But it always starts when we look down upon ourselves.

Types of Inferiority complex-

Inferiority complex can be of two types:

Primary Inferiority- This type of inferiority complex is developed due to childhood experiences. When you are compared with other people and looked down upon by your parents and teachers, it sows the seeds of an inferiority complex in you.

Secondary Inferiority- This type of inferiority complex is developed during adulthood experiences when you set a goal but fail to achieve it, or, develop a feeling of being left out. Whatever the case may be, the inferiority complex is not always based on reality, in fact, most of the time you are made to believe that you are inferior. The only way out of it is to deal with it and defeating it.

So, gear up and start taking responsibility to improve yourself and leave no space for self-doubt or, feeling of inferiority.

Exercises for building Confidence

After reading and learning more about self-confidence, I was keen to know what is that I can do on daily basis to build confidence.

No matter how much we read about something or understand a concept, to apply it in our daily lives, we need to make a conscious effort. This can be done by adopting a few daily rituals which over some time, become habits. In my opinion, these habits help one in building self-confidence.

  1. Maintain a gratitude diary- Gratitude diary helps one in recognizing and appreciating the little things in life. It makes one realize that life is not all that bad and teaches us to find happiness in our connections, achievements, and daily experiences. When we start appreciating our life, we become more accepting of ourselves which eventually builds self-confidence.
  2. Write down every small success on daily basis- Sometimes having an eye on top of the ladder makes us lose appreciation for every step that we take. We keep on waiting for a drastic change and don’t recognize the process of evolution. Keeping track of our small achievements makes us appreciate our process of growth. This appreciation builds confidence.
  3. Look into the mirror and motivate yourself- Often we base our confidence on the way others perceive us. Therefore, when we come across failure or criticism, our confidence shakes. When we look in the mirror and appreciate ourselves, we start feeling responsible for motivating ourselves. We feel appreciated and cared for. It feels good to know that we will always be there for ourselves. It feels good to know that we will always be there for ourselves. Eventually, it contributes to self-love and confidence.

These are few helpful exercises in my opinion. If you have any other suggestions let me know.

How to build confidence (Words of Marcus Aurelius)

Marcus Aurelius was the last of the five good emperors of Rome, and a stoic philosopher of his time.

In his words, “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live

He believed that a man should be willing to bear uncomfortable circumstances if that is what life demands, to live up to his full potential. This is impossible without self-confidence.

Here are a few ways that he recommended to build self-confidence:

  1. Focus on building your character
  2. Practice self-acceptance
  3. Focus on your thoughts
  4. Take ownership of your life
  5. Don’t speak too much about yourself
  6. Remind yourself of death 
  7. Ignore the ‘no’ sayers
  8. Have an evening confidence ritual
  9. Make a plan and stop over-thinking
  10. Keep your word

Which of these do you follow and which do you think is the most impactful?

Let me know your views on this.

Self Reflection- 5 Questions to ask

“Time spent in self- reflection is never wasted, it is an intimate date with yourself”- Paul TP Wong

Self Reflection is paying attention to one’s own thoughts, behaviour and actions. Everything that we give to the society and attract in form of circumstances, reactions and rewards is a consequence of our deep rooted beliefs and thoughts. Even a slight change in this is enough to bring drastic change in our lives.

Self- reflection helps us in understanding these deep rooted emotions and allows us to alter these through different means. To start with, these five important questions that one must ask oneself are:

Question 1- What is the most important thing?

Question 2- Do I want it to be the most important thing?

Question 3- Why is it the most important thing?

Question 4- Is it in my control?

Question 5- If this is the most important thing, then, how should I act?

You will realize that most of the time we overreact on things that are not even important for us and in return let go of something that matters a lot. This leads to an internal conflict that reflects on every aspect of your life.

If you are struggling, ask these questions to yourself.

You will be amazed too!