A friend or a Foe?

The crowd is watching you. All the lights are on you. The moment for which you had worked so hard is finally here.

Will I be able to do this?” you asked

You are very scared. What if you make a mistake? What if the other people laugh at you?” replied your friend

So many people are out there waiting for me, am I really capable?” you asked again

Well… I don’t think it was not your worth that got you here. It was a mere coincidence and your luck, you don’t belong here” replied your friend

Do you want a friend like this?

Such people are your enemies hiding behind the mask of a friend. Nobody wants them but everybody has got at least one of them.

You know who? It is you!

The conversation you read above is what almost 90% of us have with ourselves on daily basis. Whenever we come across an appreciation or failure and look within ourselves, we hear a voice telling us how we did everything wrong, how things never go in our favor, how the world is against us and always will be and how we don’t deserve anything.

The voice of low self-confidence and our insecurities…

But, how do we get rid of this traitor?

The only way to get rid of this traitor is to use the method of autosuggestion. Autosuggestion is a conscious effort of reminding oneself that they are worthy of all the happiness and success that they desire. One has to constantly remind oneself that they are putting in the right amount of effort and will attract success when the time comes. It is a reminder that no matter how many times the obstacles trip you and make you fall, your courage will lend you hand to rise again. This thought process over some time will shut the negative voice in your head and become your best friend in the journey of success and growth.

Look within you, whom do you find- a friend or a foe?

Key Ingredients of Self-Love

Robert Morley once said, “ To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness”

Words of a famous actor of his time…..

But why does everybody keep fixating on self-love? what exactly is self-love, and more importantly, how do we analyze if we have truly developed self-love or not?

Self-love is a state of appreciation of oneself, that grows from the actions we take that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. In short, any action that we take for our growth generates a feeling of self-love in us, which is the key ingredient of our happiness.

How do our actions impact our feelings towards ourselves?

The answer lies in this simple diagram.

Self-love is born when an individual has developed 

the following:

  1. Self Confidence
  2. Self Respect 
  3. Self Esteem  

When an individual finds these qualities within himself,

  1. He no longer depends on other people for support
  2. He experiences energy within himself that provides him with all the emotional support and motivation that he needs.
  3. He starts appreciating his struggles and the effort that he takes to overcome them. This feeling strengthens the sense of pride and admiration in oneself.

When this guy looks in the mirror, he feels inspired and motivated and so is the impact he has on other people.

Do you want to be like him?

Ask yourself, where do you stand concerning the above three qualities that generate self-love, and more importantly, where do you want to be?

Progress or Perfection ?

Beep… Beep…

It was my mobile. I received a text from one of my friends who was struggling with her work life.

She wants to become a poet, but unfortunately, is caught up in the middle of a tug of war between survival and passion.

I advised her to start working on her Instagram page and be consistent with her post so that she can get a good reach for her poetry. Then she said something that made me re-think my advice. She said, “You know I don’t post something until I am satisfied with it”.

Shooting for perfection can’t be wrong.

Can it?

In this journey to success, we will always find ourselves standing on a crossroad, where one side is where we came from, the second is where we intend to go, the third is like a promising diversion, and the fourth, the exit point. We will always be in a state, where the next stage will be in our view and we will see that we still have a long way to go, i.e, we are not yet perfect.

Cross road of life

Is the state of perfection real or just bait for progress?

In my opinion, it is very important to keep perfection in mind. But it is also important to appreciate and showcase one’s progress. It helps us and other people in different ways:

  1. It will help us in keeping a track of our progress.
  2. It motivates us and helps in gaining more confidence.
  3. Our journey from nothing to success has the potential to motivate somebody else who is in dire need of it.

Perfection attracts eyes, but progress generates hope in those eyes, which is one way of service to humanity. If only we could see the number of obstacles our role model has seen and overcome, our approach towards the obstacles in our lives will change forever.

What are your views on this?

Let me know.

Stress Management (A Dilemma)

In the past few months, the world is living in a state of dilemma. A dilemma which is affecting mostly old age and the children.

We all know that mental well-being requires a person to move around a little, breathe fresh air and whenever possible try staying close to nature. In the pre-covid era, the society parks were active in the morning and evening with children playing and the aged people walking and socializing.

But… the circumstances have now changed.

We are stuck in a dilemma where if we are going out, we are risking our physical well being and if we stay in, we are risking our mental well-being.

Children attending online classes all day, sitting in a chair all day in front of a laptop is not alright. Even in their spare time, they are either watching a movie or engage in social media. Similarly, the aged people either watch television all day or feel lonely and bored at home, since the other members of the family are either working all day or attending online classes. This again makes them cranky and puts their mental health at risk.

Here are a few tips to deal with the situation.

  1. Try engaging them in a hobby that gives them a chance and also provides for an emotional outlet. This could be a little exercise, cooking, sewing, etc.
  2. Try having your meals together. This will help the elderly get over their boredom and children to get a break from their laptops. Try discussing some old memories that remind them of a beautiful past and fill them with hope for the future.
  3. Make them do a little gardening or get some fresh air either on a terrace or balcony each day to give them a sense of being around nature.
  4. Try convincing them to reduce their screen time as much as possible. This is very essential as higher levels of screen time not only boost depression but also lowers one’s ability to read emotions.
  5. Last but not the least, be as positive and excited as you can around them. The negative news and social media can sometimes be very overwhelming. Make sure the environment at home does not add to it.

These are just a few suggestions, Let me know if you have any more suggestions in the comment section.

Please share it with other people who need to read this.  

Three Kinds of people in the journey of Growth

What is the factor that motivates you to embark upon a journey of growth and success?

In my observation and experience, there are three kinds of people. This classification excludes the people who are completely de-motivated and have no interest in the growth of any kind. The other three people are:

  1. People who want to be successful but neither do they know what they want to do nor do they put any effort to figure that out. These people have heard all their lives that success is very important and have seen that people are so satisfied when they are successful. They just know they want it.
  2. The second category involves people who want to be successful but the reason for their motivation is either to earn money or live a life where they can take a break anytime they want. As it is evident from their desires, they want to become successful for the sake of their good and comfort. This endeavor doesn’t last for long as it is all about them. It is hard to say no to the happiness and comfort that they are getting today for the sake of happiness and comfort that lies in the womb of the future.
  3. The third category involves people who want to be successful to bring a change in the society they are living in. Although they know this journey would attract fame and money, it is not their prime focus. It is just a bi-product of their success. Their real happiness lies in the feeling that their endeavor has touched and changed millions of lives. Since their endeavor was bigger than them, their urge for happiness and comfort does not break them. This also makes them unable to give up on their dreams.

In the above three categories, the third category has a great probability of success as they keep going on until their mission is accomplished. Then they shoot for even bigger stars.

Which category do you fall in?